Are You There, God? It's me, Pete.

I never ask you for anything - mainly because I have grave doubts about your actual existence - but if you could see your way clear, in your possibly fictional omnipotence, to making the new Batman movie as good as it's cracked up to be and not a heartbreakingly awful piece of bobbins I would be eternally grateful. I am prepared to give up kebabs, Battlestar Galactica and internet pornography for this to happen, which might give you some idea of how much I'm invested in this movie. Thank you.

It's out on Friday and I'm as excited as a kitten in a cotton wool store. The last time this happened, with Batman Begins, and the finished product turned out not to be the greatest superhero movie ever committed to celluloid I was crushed. Gutted. Devastated. I've watched it many times since and now like it fine, but after that first viewing I was bereft. I swore then that I would never again become so het up over a comic book movie because it's just not healthy... but here I am again, three years later, in exactly the same position. Mr Nolan, Mr Bale, poor dead Mr Ledger, please don't let me down. I couldn't take the strain. I beg of you.